…For being friends with Mike Henderson…
Dear Potential Facebook Friend,
I don’t know you, but I can see from the handy Facebook utility that we have X number of friends in comon. I also noticed that most of those comon friends are people I know through work. In my ever vigilant effort to keep Facebook and Work as two distinct entities, I’ve drafted the follwing Facebook terms of service of friendships to keep us both happy. If you agree that we both have these rights and alowances, I will hapily accept you as a friend, and enthusiastically look forward to getting to know you.
1) I get to post links and comments that are off color and potentially offensive. These comments may include references to body parts not usually mentioned in polite and/or mixed company. It’s meant to be funny. If it offends you, remember that i warned you. You agree to hold Mike Henderson harmless in any future Facebook status flubs, blunders, effbombs, linkbaits, snarks, rants, jokes, comments, links, notes, favorites, or any other interaction either real, imagined, potential, or retroactive realting to this connection as friends on facebook.com. initials ________
2) If you try to sell me stuff through Facebook it’s over. initials ________
3) I know I seem cool and all, but I’m an old fashioned guy. We need to get to know each other before we jump into commenting on every tiny status update we put out. Without the benefit of actually knowing each other and being able to read comments in each other’s voice, knowing facial expressions or historical propensities and worldviews, we might not get each other’s humor or wit, or lack thereof and misunderstandings might insue. The need for an allowance such as this is usually obviated by the fact that real life friends know each other. That background would have given us the perspective, but we don’t have that yet. We agree to hold eachother harmless in the event of a misunderstanding and will follow the Ed Adkins digital panti un-bunching procedure at all times. Initials _______
4) I reserve the right to not update my profile information. If you want up to date professional info check me out on LinkedIn.com.
5) I don’t have to respiond quickly to facebook messages. That’s what email is for. I may not respond quickly to email either. But i’ll apologize for that.
6) I’m not going to accept the troutslap, free beer or cause. Nothing personal. If there is a whoopiecoushion facebook app I’ll consider it.
7) If i join your group/page and you send invites for every event out to every person in that group/page I’ll unsubscribe from that group/page. If you send invites out to every one of your friends without considering whether they would ever go to something like that, I’ll treat you like the above mentioned group/page.
8) Most of my facebook updates are from Twitter.
9) I sometimes RSVP yes to an event i have no intention of attending. I apologize for that in advance.
10) As is Facebook Standard Operating Procedure, these TOS are retroactive and inclusive and binding until such time as I choose to change them without notice, warining, reason or cause. Initials ______
If you agree to these terms and allowences, please send me a message afirming that, uhhh, affirmation and we’re good to go!
I look forward to “being friends” with you.